Wouldn’t it be awesome if relationships came with warning labels? Can you image if we lived in a world where when you were thinking about dating someone a popup would appear in life to tell you all the warning signs, red flags, and lessons you would have to learn in order to be with that person?
Well on some level as you get to know someone the signs will be there and if you are looking with non-biased eyes then you will see them.
What I believe happens a lot of the time, especially as empaths, is that we meet someone with a few traits that we like and then we decide that we can fix or just deal with the parts of that person that are actually major red flags. If the guy is smart and funny but is only interested in your body then that is a sign.
Also, if the person you are thinking about being with only wants to be around you because they feel that they can fix you then that is also a big sign.
When we care about someone we often get sucked up in the emotions we are feeling and end up blind to what is really going on. So if you want to make sure that you don’t get caught up in a stagnant or draining relationship then check these 6 things every so often in your relationship to make sure that you are not missing any important red flags.
1. Your Friends or Family don’t like the person you are dating.
It can be really hard to hear that your friends or family don’t like the person you are with. Though your family might not always approve it is good to create a level of trust and transparency with them that makes it easy for them to voice any concerns that they might see.
Don’t get upset if they do come to you with concerns. Listen, ask questions and try to understand where they are coming from and what they are seeing. No one wants to get years into a bad relationship only to find out that your family and friends saw what was wrong the whole time.
2. You see inconsistency, excuses, and get confusing timelines from your partner.
We all want to trust people and we also want to be trusted. There is a lot that goes into a relationship and if there isn’t trust and transparency then you really don’t have a strong foundation.
One of the ways to tell if your partner is telling the truth is to see if they are giving you a large number of excuses or are inconsistent. If they say one thing and then do another then that is a sign that you need to look into.
Another important way to tell if your partner is prone to lying is see how they interact with others. Regardless of the reason if you see inconsistencies in how they interact with other people then that is a sign.
Do they lie, exaggerate, or manipulate others? If the answer is yes, that may mean that they are doing all of those things to you too. It just may be more subtle.
3. Your relationship is progressing too fast.
Slow and steady wins the race. This principle is true for relationships as well as for life. If your partner is trying to jump into high levels of commitment before you are ready then you may need to ask yourself why.
Are they afraid of losing you if they don’t tie you down fast? Are they afraid that if you get to know them better then you will leave? These are all legitimate questions.
Now it is possible that they feel rushed due to excitement because they met you and frankly you are an awesome person. Just remember though, that there is something awesome and super romantic about a relationship that is grounded, slow and each partner takes the time to get to know each other.
4. Your Partner doesn’t have many friends.
If your partner has a hard time making or keeping friends then they may not be good at true closeness. Long term relationships will gently become more close and synchronistic. The lone wolf mentality doesn’t work for this.
The opposite may also be true, does your partner have a lot of friends but isn’t close with any of them? If your partner is a social butterfly but doesn’t have any close emotional connections with them then that may be a big sign that will hurt down the road.
5. Your Partner uses a lot of alcohol or other heavy substances.
Occasional and moderate uses of some substances isn’t necessarily harmful. What I am talking about is if your partner has a hard time being sober. A healthy balanced person can handle their life completely sober and doesn’t use substances to escape or run away from their feelings.
Even if they seem happy it may be wise to evaluate how they are completely sober for a while to make sure that they aren’t subconsciously hiding a bunch of issues that may surface later in your relationship.
6. You often feel drained after being around your partner.
Sometimes we don’t notice anything off when we are with someone but then afterwards we are drained. I’m not talking about after a night at the gym or a dance party drained. I am talking about an emotional draining that leaves us feeling worn out and mentally fried. This may be a big sign that there is an unbalance in the energy of your relationship.
Separately none of these red flags are necessarily deal breakers but if you start to see more than one it may be time for a heart-to-heart to evaluate what is really going on and if you need to make some adjustments in your life.
Teamwork is often needed to heal core issues, but we need to make sure that we are not being drained or abused on the way.
What red flags do you look for in your relationships? Let us know your tricks and experiences in the comments below.