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This isn’t a Bucket List; it’s a F**k-it List

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Life can end in an unpredictable instant.

The degree of separation between people is estimated to be around 4.74. This is why we’ve all heard about the friend of a friend who was murdered, the local car accident with multiple fatalities or the fire which ended the lives of several we knew in our community.

Most of us too have had something unexpectedly terrible happen to a loved one which resulted in their death. For example, there are terminal illnesses which spontaneously occur at many different ages and not just once a person has lived a full life, as well as accidents, rare diseases etc.

It also feels all too common that we hear about a father who died whilst saving his son from drowning or an adult member of the public who perished whilst attempting to rescue another person from some life or death situation.

These are both tragic and triumphant stories of human affairs. They remind us of how precious life is as well as the innate nobility of humanity which manifests during such emergencies. They reenergize our appreciation of human life and spirit.

The Point of Life (and this Article)

This article isn’t about fear or tragedy, but self-empowerment. All these examples of an early departure make us think, “If we were to die tomorrow, have we actually maximized our growth in the time that we had? Did we look after ourselves and our loved ones in the right way?”

If we wrote down NOT a bucket list – which is a list of things to do and places to see – but a f***-it list – which is a list of ways to grow in how we think, feel and act – would what it look like?

The following f***-it list is ultimately about letting go of the things that hold us back from reaching our true potential. Some are about overcoming our ego attachments which have no real power, especially if we don’t feed them any, and others are an illustration of internal achievements that we’ll be more than stoked with when we’re lying on our death bed and deliberating our achievements in life.

After all, real success comes from within, not from without.

F*** it #1: I don’t worry about how others perceive me

Some of us spend half – or all – of our lives worrying about how others perceive us.

It is of course important to mindfully represent ourselves to our loved ones, but if anybody negatively judges us on our passions and our endeavors, then we just have to learn to say, “F*** it, I don’t care what they think.”

Once we remove the wasted time negotiating in our own minds as to what they may think or say, we open ourselves to actually being fully engaged in our goals and maintaining our own inner peace.

At the end of the day, it really is their business what others think of us. Let’s keep it that way so that we invest our time and energy in the things that really matter so that when it’s time to kick the bucket, we’ll be more than impressed with ourselves.

F*** it # 2: I’m going to give back to my community as much as I can, even if it is at my own expense

The simple philosophy of “giving is receiving” rings true on our death bed. If we spent our lives only taking from others – that is, prioritizing our own selfish desires – then all of the positive thoughts and feelings that we could be having would be replaced with regret, guilt and shame.

Humans are naturally communal animals. We wouldn’t have survived and thrived the way we did if it wasn’t for people grouping together in a community and supporting each other. If we haven’t operated according to this principle, then we haven’t operated in parallel with our own innate nature.

There are many ways to do it. It could be via our job, through volunteering, by simply being a compassionate and empathetic person, or all of the above. At a fundamental level, it’s simply a mindset and a behavioral template.

In addition, we would have simply missed out on the many pure connections and experiences which come along with surrounding ourselves by noble and selfless people. This is why we say, “F*** it, I’ve got everything I need, so I’m going to do the right thing for others.”

F*** it # 3: Nothing or nobody else is in control of my feelings except me

Life is tough at times, especially when we are treated in inhumane and traumatizing ways. People do terrible things to one another but ultimately, we have the final say in how we feel.

Some experiences also challenge us beyond the capabilities we have at the time, so of course we will be significantly impacted by it in a negative way. Yet the sooner we start taking responsibility for how we feel, the sooner we find our peace. There is just no other way.

The reality is if we continue to rely on what’s happening in our life to make us feel good, then we’re destined to live a life of suffering, because we all know that as soon as one issue is resolved, another one arises.

That’s when we say, “F*** it, it is what it is, and I can’t change it, so instead I’m going to accept it and take responsibility for how I feel.” The result of this is, no matter what difficulty we have in our life – such as a broken relationship, the loss of a job or a sick loved one – we will always have the responsibility for establishing and maintaining our inner peace.

F*** it # 4: I’m brave enough to tackle the big questions in life before having a mid-life existential crisis

Right from an early age we’re socialized to think, feel and behave in a certain way. It’s the minority which break out of this on their own terms, as the idea of not being well liked or understood doesn’t appeal to any of us. This is why many people in their 20s and 30s don’t open the Pandora box and start to think beyond the general image-driven and ego-based focus of their peers.

Once a person has settled down a bit, had a family and progressed in their career, they will naturally decide to have a good long hard look at themselves, their beliefs and the big picture of life. That’s when the mid life crisis occurs because the development of their mind, which is a genuine form of success, is well behind the development of their body, so they freak the hell out.

If we want to avoid the suffering of a mid-life crisis, we need to start asking the big questions of self-worth, contentment, morality, community, suffering, selflessness, spirituality etc. at an earlier age. We have to say, “F*** it, I’m going to make the necessary sacrifices of my ego so that I can grow in spirit.”

F*** it # 5: Laughter is going to be my default response to both the good and bad things that happen in life

Is it really possible to find the humor in everything? Of course it is. Well, why would we do that anyway? Because as they say; laughter is the best medicine.

New research has shown that the act of laughter is a form of meditation. In the past, scientists have measured the brain wave frequencies of people who meditate, and now they have done the same with those experiencing humor. They’ve found that the two acts resemble each other in frequency.

We know that meditation is not only empowering and enlightening, but that it’s also super healthy for dealing with states of anxiety, stress, depression and insomnia.

Therefore, laughing at the funny, the mundane, the taboo, and even the serious are excellent ways to find peace and well-being in even the toughest situations. We therefore say, “F*** it, I’m not going to cry over spilled milk, I’m going to laugh whilst I clean it up instead.”

F*** it # 6: I’m going to have compassion for all people, regardless if they’re behaving poorly or not

We all pass judgement – be it positive or negative, comparative or independent, realistic or unrealistic, selfless or selfish. Or put another way, we continually critique or assess the people and situations in our life, including ourselves.

The key is to judge in a healthy way, such as incorporating compassion and empathy. We should see the positive in others, even when they’re behaving negatively. For example: yes, that person is being abusive but for all we know they may have had something tragic happen to them today, or maybe they’re just at an underdeveloped stage of their growth, but one day hopefully they will have learned to overcome this behavior which not only makes others suffer, but also themselves.

Therefore, we think to ourselves, “F*** it, just because I’ve gone through my own development, it’s hypercritical to think that everyone should be at a similar stage of growth, so I’m going to have compassion for where they are and how they are suffering.”

F*** it # 7: Nothing is going to get in my way of building quality relationships with my family and friends

Why do some of us spend all our time attempting to achieve some form of success at the expense of our relationships? What is so important that we make this sacrifice? Power. The more powerful we become, the more people will respect us and the more we will respect ourselves.

Yet if we’re not balancing our external forms of success with the kind that ensures genuine and truly beautiful human relationships, then what worth do our achievements truly have?

Not much if we’re on our death bed, devastated over the time that we could have had with our children and our other loved ones. If we’ve sacrificed the most important parts of being human to enter the rat race and achieve career success, then we’ve simply lost our way. If this is happening, then we face it by saying, “F*** it, real power is in self-empowerment, not sacrificing my relationships for power over others.”

Now please be assured that I’m not saying that it’s not a good thing to achieve greatness in our field of choice. The ideal is to achieve both forms of success without one at the expense of the other. We should therefore be aiming toward achieving amazing success in our career whilst also achieving amazing success in our personal growth and relationships.

F*** it # 8: Becoming my more genuine self is always my first priority

Surely we know what our current status is, right? We know what we should face-off? What are our strengths and weaknesses? What are we striving for? What is our next stage of growth? Are we actually content?

Blindly living in denial of our much needed growth and not doing anything about it is one way of living unsuccessfully and ensuring that we’re plagued with regret on our death bed. After all, the only person who will ever understand whether you’re truly successful or not, is yourself.

So do we actually want to continually learn and grow and become our new more empowered selves so that when we kick the bucket we can give ourselves a high five for having a really good crack at life?

Of course we do. But the reality is that it’s seriously challenging. Sometimes we don’t have the knowledge, skills or willpower to overcome our problematic, disempowering and inhibiting behaviors, which is why we might need to access help.

If we have lessons to learn but don’t aim to overcome them, then we’re not becoming our more genuine selves. No matter what, our lessons don’t go away; they’ll keep remanifesting in different ways until we face them. And even when we do overcome them they’ll return to just make sure we’ve properly learned them. They’re quite cheeky like that.

Therefore, we state clearly to ourselves, “F*** it, I will not be stubborn about who I am and my shortcomings, I will open myself to the more self-empowered person that I will inevitably be.”


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Consciousness

10 Things You Don’t Wan’t To Know About Yourself

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“Freedom is the right to tell people what they don’t want to hear.” ~George Orwell

Sick of all those self-affirmation articles? Tired of all the self-help gurus blowing sunshine up your skirt? Need something a little more grounding? More down-to-earth? More humbling? Here’s a fresh batch of wake-up calls and kicks-in-the-shin straight from the oven. Get it while its hot…

1.) You are an animal:

“What a chimera then is humankind. What a novelty; what a monster, what a chaos.” ~Blaise Pascal
This one is painfully obvious, but you probably need a reminder.

You are a naked ape. You are blood and bones and improbable apposable thumbs. You were born from the womb and you will one day be food for worms. In the womb, you went through all the phases of evolution: from a single-celled amoeba to a multicellular tadpole to a brain-wielding infant.

In your short life, you will piss and s*** and bleed. You will rage and cry and sleep. You will go through all the profane motions of being a mortal mammal within an amoral universe. And here’s the real kick in the teeth: it’s going to hurt like hell. Hope you have a good sense of humor, because you’re going to need it.

2.) You are fallible:

“Things fall apart. The center cannot hold.” ~W.B. Yeats

You are terribly imperfect. You will make mistakes. More so, you are mistaken about a great many things. Most of which you will probably never admit to yourself, because admitting you are wrong is one of the most difficult things a human being can do.

But it goes deeper than that. There are fallibilities within fallibilities. It’s a veritable fractal forest of fallibility. A fractal wrongness, if you will.

You are more wrong about things than you can possibly imagine, and yet you insist. You force your wrongness. You are fierce with it, ruthlessly certain with it. You are so hungry for rightness that you bludgeon the Truth with your wrongness. All the while imagining that you are right.

As it turns out, you are more likely to be right by admitting that you are probably wrong than by declaring that you are probably right.

3.) You are a hypocrite:

“You have not learned to play and mock the way a man ought to play and mock. Are we not always seated at a great table for play and mockery? Learn to laugh at yourselves as a man ought to laugh. Learn to laugh beyond yourselves, and learn to laugh well.” ~Nietzsche

You are a hypocrite by nature. By the fact that you perceive an unfathomable reality with fallible faculties. It’s not even your fault. Just the fact that you are a “you” precludes hypocrisy. The self is smoke and mirrors, masks and mayhem. More akin to a chaotic theater of actors than a single personality.

Indeed, the self is masks all the way down perceiving delusions all the way up. Hypocrisy was always inevitable. Merely the biproduct of a fallible self.

Amidst this mayhem of fallible selfhood, you will experience dissimulation and self-deception, dishonesty and deep pretension, inauthenticity and artificiality. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. The rest is hidden beneath layer upon layer of subconscious/unconscious double-dealings, feigned sincerity, two-faced unctuousness, and the mealymouthed choruses of canting contradictions.

Your hypocrisy knows no bounds, so you might as well own up to it.

4.) You will fail:

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.” ~Samuel Beckett

Failure is a given when you are merely a fallible, hypocritical animal going through the motions of living life in an uncertain universe.

But there is wisdom hidden in failure if you are keen to it. Setbacks can be transformed into steppingstones. Tragedy can be hardwired into comedy. Catastrophe can be whittled into accomplishment. You can build a ladder out of the shattered pieces of your life and climb out of the abyss.

But guess what? You will probably fail again. The higher you climb the farther you may fall. When it comes to failure, there is always a deeper abyss. Defeat, hard luck, and utter collapse are right around the corner. Disappointment is Accomplishment’s kissing cousin. Tragedy is Triumph’s red-headed stepchild. Today’s achievement could very well be tomorrow’s tripwire. So be it. Use it all as a sharpening stone for your all-too-mortal soul.

5.) You are never not broken:

“We adore chaos because we love to produce order.” ~M.C. Escher

Wholeness does not imply perfection. It infers embracing brokenness as an essential part of being human. There is never a state in which you are not broken.
You are a walking, talking broken heart going through the motions of breaking apart and coming back together again. This also applies to the mind, the body, and the soul. You are constantly in a state of repair.

Your suffering is sufferable. What’s insufferable is your ideal of perfection. There will always be pain. There will always be heartache. There will always be existential angst. We wreck ourselves against these. Then we knock out the dents, mend the cracks, and heal the wounds. We do this in the hope that it will make us stronger. But perhaps it won’t.
The wound may or may not become a sacred wound. All you can do is hurt, heal, and hope. Hurt, heal, and hope. From fragility to robustness to antifragility, you will always be in a state of falling apart and coming back together again. Embrace it.

6.) You have a dark side:

“There are no shortcuts to wholeness. The only way to become whole is to put our arms lovingly around everything we know ourselves to be: self-serving and generous, spiteful and compassionate, cowardly and courageous, treacherous and trustworthy. We must be able to say, ‘I am all of the above.’” ~Parker J. Palmer

You have a shadow. Even your shadow has a shadow called the golden shadow. Your shadow is your repressed or unconscious self, struggling to be liberated and more conscious. Awareness is key. Becoming aware of our shadow side is shining a light into the darkness and giving our dark side permission to shine its blacklight back into the blinding light, which creates a unity of opposites.
An empowered dark side balances out the equation of the complicated human condition. Without this balance, you risk fragile one-dimensionality and a brittle ego terrified of taking responsibility for its shadow and thus fearful of the shadow of others.

You cannot fully know yourself without knowing your dark side and embracing your shadow. Such wholeness breeds wisdom and the ability to experience the full range of what it means to be human.

7.) Your beliefs limit you:

“If you adopt an idea or perception as the absolute truth, you close the door of your mind. Attachment to views, attachment to ideas, attachment to perceptions are the biggest obstacle to truth.” ~The Buddha

Your beliefs are incredibly restricting. You’ve been indoctrinated to think that you need to believe. Even worse, you’ve been brainwashed to believe more than you think.

In the battle against bewitchment, all beliefs, no matter how powerful or well-intended, are a hinderance to clear thought and self-improvement.

tter to think rather than believe. Thinking that something might be true allows for error, fallibility, and wrongness. Believing that something is certainly true cuts us off from all other possibilities. Belief is all or nothing, predicated upon faith despite facts or evidence. Thought is open-ended, taking beliefs, facts, and evidence into deep consideration and then using probability and validity to discover the truth.

More importantly, thinking rather than believing allows for skepticism and questioning. It is considered blasphemous to question a belief. Whereas questioning a thought is considered appropriate. Might as well just skip belief altogether and simply take things into thoughtful consideration.

8.) You are culturally conditioned:

“When war turns whole populations into sleepwalkers, outlaws don’t join forces with alarm clocks. Outlaws, like poets, rearrange the nightmare.” ~Tom Robbins

You are programmed to think a certain way. This programming has propped-up your identity into perceiving a particular worldview that may or may not be based in reality. It might not even be healthy. This identity tied up in your worldview is an abstraction of an abstraction, a story within a story that you’ve convinced yourself is true.

But you have the power to reprogram your programming.

We are all conditioned by culture. The key is to become aware of it and to weigh our conditioning against the truth of reality. Then recondition the conditioning. We each have our own Plato’s Cave to navigate.

The extent to which you can become aware of your own “cave” will be the extent of your flexibility, open-mindedness, and personal freedom.

9.) You know less than you think:

“Some people are more certain of everything than I am of anything.” ~Robert Rubin

You think you know more than you actually do. Your certainty about a great many things limits your imagination, creative thinking, and ability to question. It leads to dogmatic reasoning and close-mindedness.

ou are just so certain, aren’t you? Your certitude is so powerful that you cannot see past your beliefs. Hung up on what you’ve found, you have given up the search. Your journey has come to an end. Your certainty has led you to a dead-end. You are stuck. And the only way out is to question what you think you know.

The more you question, the more you realize that the only answer that makes any sense is to keep questioning. When you stop questioning the journey for truth comes to an end and stagnation, sloth, and dogmatism begin to rule your world. Keep things in perspective by accepting that you know less than you think you do and keep questioning.

10.) Your life is terribly inconsequential:

“Don’t slip on the banana peel of nihilism, even while listening to the roar of Nothingness.” ~Lawrence Ferlinghetti

When it comes down to it, your life is a flash in the pan. It’s dust in the cosmic wind. It’s an infinitesimally insignificant spark in an unfathomably dark, unforgiving, and meaningless universe. But it is a spark.

What you do won’t matter in the grand scheme of things. But it’s very important that you do it anyway. Why? Because you are the universe attempting to become aware of itself. You are an awareness machine in an otherwise unaware cosmos. You are a meaning-generator in a reality void of meaning. You might be nothing more than a speck in the universe, but you are also the entire universe in a speck.

Either way, you will one day be dust. Your tiny insignificant life will end. Face that fleetingness with a fierceness. Laugh into the abyss. Face fear with fearlessness. Climb the highest mountain and kick God in the nuts. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Or not. None of it will matter in the end. You will still be the butt-end of the cosmic joke. It’s all laughable. So you might as well have a laugh.

Gary Z McGee, Self-inflicted Philosophy, republished here with permission.

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Physicists Suggest All Matter Could Be Made Up of Energy ‘Fragments’

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Matter is what makes up the Universe, but what makes up matter? This question has long been tricky for those who think about it – especially for the physicists.

Reflecting recent trends in physics, my colleague Jeffrey Eischen and I have described an updated way to think about matter. We propose that matter is not made of particles or waves, as was long thought, but – more fundamentally – that matter is made of fragments of energy.

From Five to One

The ancient Greeks conceived of five building blocks of matter – from bottom to top: earth, water, air, fire and aether. Aether was the matter that filled the heavens and explained the rotation of the stars, as observed from the Earth vantage point.

These were the first most basic elements from which one could build up a world. Their conceptions of the physical elements did not change dramatically for nearly 2,000 years.

Then, about 300 years ago, Sir Isaac Newton introduced the idea that all matter exists at points called particles. One hundred fifty years after that, James Clerk Maxwell introduced the electromagnetic wave – the underlying and often invisible form of magnetism, electricity and light.

The particle served as the building block for mechanics and the wave for electromagnetism – and the public settled on the particle and the wave as the two building blocks of matter. Together, the particles and waves became the building blocks of all kinds of matter.

This was a vast improvement over the ancient Greeks’ five elements but was still flawed. In a famous series of experiments, known as the double-slit experiments, light sometimes acts like a particle and at other times acts like a wave. And while the theories and math of waves and particles allow scientists to make incredibly accurate predictions about the Universe, the rules break down at the largest and tiniest scales.

Einstein proposed a remedy in his theory of general relativity. Using the mathematical tools available to him at the time, Einstein was able to better explain certain physical phenomena and also resolve a longstanding paradox relating to inertia and gravity.

But instead of improving on particles or waves, he eliminated them as he proposed the warping of space and time.

Using newer mathematical tools, my colleague and I have demonstrated a new theory that may accurately describe the Universe. Instead of basing the theory on the warping of space and time, we considered that there could be a building block that is more fundamental than the particle and the wave.

Scientists understand that particles and waves are existential opposites: A particle is a source of matter that exists at a single point, and waves exist everywhere except at the points that create them.

My colleague and I thought it made logical sense for there to be an underlying connection between them.

Flow and Fragments of Energy

Our theory begins with a new fundamental idea – that energy always “flows” through regions of space and time.

Think of energy as made up of lines that fill up a region of space and time, flowing into and out of that region, never beginning, never ending and never crossing one another.

Working from the idea of a universe of flowing energy lines, we looked for a single building block for the flowing energy. If we could find and define such a thing, we hoped we could use it to accurately make predictions about the Universe at the largest and tiniest scales.

There were many building blocks to choose from mathematically, but we sought one that had the features of both the particle and wave – concentrated like the particle but also spread out over space and time like the wave.

The answer was a building block that looks like a concentration of energy – kind of like a star – having energy that is highest at the center, and that gets smaller farther away from the center.

Much to our surprise, we discovered that there were only a limited number of ways to describe a concentration of energy that flows. Of those, we found just one that works in accordance with our mathematical definition of flow.

We named it a fragment of energy. For the math and physics aficionados, it is defined as A = -⍺/r where ⍺ is intensity and r is the distance function.

Using the fragment of energy as a building block of matter, we then constructed the math necessary to solve physics problems. The final step was to test it out.

Back to Einstein, Adding Universality

More than 100 ago, Einstein had turned to two legendary problems in physics to validate general relativity: the ever-so-slight yearly shift – or precession – in Mercury’s orbit, and the tiny bending of light as it passes the Sun.

These problems were at the two extremes of the size spectrum. Neither wave nor particle theories of matter could solve them, but general relativity did.

The theory of general relativity warped space and time in such way as to cause the trajectory of Mercury to shift and light to bend in precisely the amounts seen in astronomical observations.

If our new theory was to have a chance at replacing the particle and the wave with the presumably more fundamental fragment, we would have to be able to solve these problems with our theory, too.

For the precession-of-Mercury problem, we modeled the Sun as an enormous stationary fragment of energy and Mercury as a smaller but still enormous slow-moving fragment of energy. For the bending-of-light problem, the Sun was modeled the same way, but the photon was modeled as a minuscule fragment of energy moving at the speed of light.

In both problems, we calculated the trajectories of the moving fragments and got the same answers as those predicted by the theory of general relativity. We were stunned.

Our initial work demonstrated how a new building block is capable of accurately modeling bodies from the enormous to the minuscule. Where particles and waves break down, the fragment of energy building block held strong.

The fragment could be a single potentially universal building block from which to model reality mathematically – and update the way people think about the building blocks of the Universe.

Republished from TheConversation.com under Creative Commons

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Consciousness

Neuroscientist Claims That Consciousness Itself Is Its Own Energy Field

Justin MacLachlan

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A neuroscientist has suggested in a new theory that our consciousness is derived from a field of electromagnetic waves given off by neurons.

The study published last month in the journal Neuroscience of Consciousness is entirely based off a theory absent of tangible evidence. However, the author of the research Johnjoe McFadden said that his hypothesis could offer a way forward for robots that think and feel emotions.

McFadden believes that neuron waves of electrical activity get sent out and as they propagate across the brain, they help compose our entire conscious experience.

Johnjoe McFadden, is a molecular geneticist and director of quantum biology at the University of Surrey. McFadden points to flaws in other models of consciousness as the reason that we don’t have sentient artificial intelligence or robots capable of achieving consciousness.

McFadden’s hypothesis swerves away from most traditional neuroscientists, who generally see consciousness as a narrative that our brain constructs out of our senses, perceptions, and actions. Instead, McFadden returns to a more empirical version of dualism — the idea that consciousness stems from something other than our brain matter.

McFadden’s theory adapts the idea of “dualism,” which is the belief that consciousness is a supernatural force. Dualism has long been rejected by scientists and ruled pseudo-science, but McFadden has attempted to apply a scientific explanation for the idea, which hasn’t been done before.

Neuroscience news reports that the theory is based on scientific fact:

“The theory is based on scientific fact: when neurons in the brain and nervous system fire, they not only send the familiar electrical signal down the wire-like nerve fibres, but they also send a pulse of electromagnetic energy into the surrounding tissue. Such energy is usually disregarded, yet it carries the same information as nerve firings, but as an immaterial wave of energy, rather than a flow of atoms in and out of the nerves.”

It’s also a fact we have an electromagnetic field surrounding our brain is well-known and is detected by brain-scanning techniques such as electroencephalogram (EEG) and magnetoencephalography (MEG) but has previously been dismissed as irrelevant to brain function and supernatural. Instead, McFadden contends that the brain’s information-rich electromagnetic field is, in fact, itself the seat of consciousness, driving the ‘free will’ of an individual.

“How brain matter becomes aware and manages to think is a mystery that has been pondered by philosophers, theologians, mystics and ordinary people for millennia,” McFadden said in a press release published by Medical Xpress. “I believe this mystery has now been solved, and that consciousness is the experience of nerves plugging into the brain’s self-generated electromagnetic field to drive what we call ‘free will’ and our voluntary actions.”

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