How Cards Against Humanity Plans Stop Trump and His Wall

Cards Against Humanity — the bawdy, blunt, provocative, and unabashedly offensive card game and company, famous for a deliciously snarky attitude and occasional social and political stunts and billing itself, “a party game for horrible people” — will attempt to thwart construction of President Trump’s fraught border wall with the company’s purchase of a tract of vacant land directly in its path.

“It’s 2017, and the government is being run by a toilet. We have no choice: Cards Against Humanity is going to save America,” the company’s website asserts.

Cue, Cards Against Humanity Stops The Wall.

“Donald Trump is a preposterous golem who is afraid of Mexicans,” the unambiguous explanation of the project continues. “He is so afraid that he wants to build a twenty-billion dollar wall that everyone knows will accomplish nothing. So we’ve purchased a plot of vacant land on the border and retained a law firm specializing in eminent domain to make it as time-consuming and expensive as possible for the wall to get built.”

Now marked as ‘sold out,’ visitors to the site who wished to participate could send $15 to Cards Against Humanity for “six surprises” in the month of December — including an illustrated map of the land in question, additional cards, and a vow to fight The Wall.

While certainly not its first holiday promotion, Cards Against Humanity Stops The Wall is arguably a more productive project — depending on one’s politics — than the company’s 2016 holiday promotion … performance art piece … political commentary, in which crew manned construction equipment to dig a hole for as long as donations poured in.

Although company officials remained cryptically vague as to the true purpose or underlying meaning of the stunt, many suspected its Black Friday event date analogized America’s obsessive consumerism, or something to that effect.

Reported the Guardian at the time,

“In an FAQ on the Holiday Hole site, Cards Against Humanity explains that the hole is located in ‘America. And in our hearts’. There’s no ‘deeper meaning or purpose’ to the hole, the site reads. The FAQ also addresses the question of ‘Why aren’t you giving all this money to charity?’ The game-maker replied: ‘Why aren’t YOU giving all this money to charity? It’s your money.’”

For 52 full hours, the livestreamed stunt continued in Oregon, Illinois (at the time, the only location conceded was “in America”), amassing $100,573 in the process — leaving many scratching their heads in bewilderment — and was ultimately filled in without ceremony or further elaboration.

Stops The Wall, in sharp contrast, aims to insert itself not only into the free-for-all of corporate political speech, but as a literal wedge against one of Trump’s most lauded and reviled platform promises — while making statements on the border wall’s inanity, as well as the arbitrariness of geopolitical boundaries — potentially halting the taxpayer-funded monstrosity.

This stunt may be particularly efficacious — not necessarily as a single act — but if additional landholders in the Wall’s path take Cards Against Humanity’s lead, hoping to remain steadfast against one of the United States Government’s most disputatious, authoritarian powers allowing the seizure of privately held property: eminent domain.

Promising to give a Herculean effort against the border wall’s construction, Cards Against Humanity answers a few frequently asked questions regarding this holiday promotion:

What are you saving America from?

Injustice, lies, racism, the whole enchilada.

You said you weren’t going to do one of these complicated holiday promotions again.

We’re liars. Just like the president.

Included on the company’s website is a promotional video, whose narrator laments the U.S. is “seemed to be hanging from a thread” in the wake of the election of Donald Trump.

“But then, the small card game company from Chicago, Illinois, known as Cards Against Humanity, launched a bold campaign to save America,” the narrator continues, adding boldly,

“These scrappy comedy writers would come to be hailed as saviors by the American people. They stopped Trump’s border wall.”

Efficacy of Cards Against Humanity Stops The Wall will have to be determined in the future; but, in the meantime, for players who might not favor the company’s “getting political” — or anyone suggesting they “just stick to card games”— the cheeky writers have a special retort:

“Why don’t you stick to seeing how many Hot Wheels cars you can fit up your asshole.”

Image: Flickr/brett jordan.