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“Birds Aren’t Real”: This Bizarre New Conspiracy Is Spreading In America Like Wildfire

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The activist organization known as “birds aren’t real,” which maintains the position that birds do not exist (like we think they do) in the modern world, recently held a demonstration in the United States with the purpose of persuading other people to adopt their point of view.

What once started out as a funny quip in the online world seems to have morphed into something else entirely. Some people may still be trolling when they say it, but some seemingly take it dead serious.

For the benefit of those who aren’t familiar with it, the “birds aren’t real” movement asserts that there was a time when birds really existed, but that they were switched out for drones in 2001 by – you got it – none other than Barack Obama.

According to the conspiracy theory, the recently developed robot birds are being employed to spy on American citizens.

“Where it all began. October 26th, 2001,” account Birdsarentreal wrote on Instagram, underneath the compelling evidence above. “The day the deceitful and wicked Patriot Act was passed by congress. I can’t watch these horrific videos in public, I tremble uncontrollably with rage. I sob. I can’t keep quiet.

“After the government killed off the last real bird in 2001, they released the beta versions of the first prototype bird drones, as shown in these tapes. WHAT A COINCIDENCE that on October 27th, 2001, PEARL HARBOR happened. Yet no one seems to draw the correlation. Sheep.”

“Call me misinformed, call me stupid, call me under-educated, I don’t care. Just because I didn’t go to ‘high school’ doesn’t mean that I’m any less intelligent. I just haven’t been brainwashed and institutionalized like you all. I know that I am #WOKE and one day you all will see.”

JFK meeting a robot bird. We’ve put a circle around someone in the background, as this is the correct etiquette when discussing conspiracy theories. Image credit: Public domain via John. F. Kennedy presidential library and museum.

Although it is patently evident that the concept is ludicrous, the movement has a significant number of adherents both online and offline. Given that they were there to spread the message that birds are automatons, a huge number of individuals attended the demonstration that took place in Springfield, Missouri.

The online presence for #BirdsAreNotReal grows by the day. It’s become hard to tell if this is a troll campaign or not, but given the prevalence of Flat Earther’s in our modern world, nothing surprises me now.

The movement joins the conspiracy theory that “Australia isn’t real” on the list of conspiracy theories that we are 99 percent certain are satires of flat-Earthers etc., but undoubtedly have a few actual individuals persuaded as well.

The notion that birds are robots and everyone is in on the lie was first thought up (or uncovered, depending on whether or not you think birds are robots and everyone is in on the lie) by a college student in 2017. IFLS noted that, according to this theory, the CIA was confronted with two challenges in the 1950s:

1) how to surveil the entire US population

2) how to stop birds poopin’ on their fancy CIA cars

The answer, which may seem simple when viewed in hindsight, was, of course, to replace the birds with little robot drones that could listen in on every one of our conversations.

“In a stolen transcript from an ex-CIA deputy, she says, “yeah, the higher-ups were so annoyed that birds had been dropping fecal matter on their car windows that they vowed to wipe out every single flying feathered creature in North America,” Birds Aren’t Real write on their website, which is well worth checking out for some laughs.

According to this theory, John F. Kennedy was killed in 1969 because he opposed the plan after seeing a prototype of a robot called “Turkey X500.” This robot was designed to kill real turkeys in order to make room for replacements. Because Obama engages in this kind of activity when it comes to conspiracies, the birds were ultimately let free in the year 2001 after a series of tests and improvements.

Apparently the “birds aren’t real” movement is presently being videotaped for a documentary series, which will either be incredibly humorous or will blow the doors off of an international conspiracy. So, clever troll or.. is it serious? Let us know on Facebook.

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