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6 Tricks to Spot Red Flags in Your Relationship

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Wouldn’t it be awesome if relationships came with warning labels?  Can you image if we lived in a world where when you were thinking about dating someone a popup would appear in life to tell you all the warning signs, red flags, and lessons you would have to learn in order to be with that person?

Well on some level as you get to know someone the signs will be there and if you are looking with non-biased eyes then you will see them.

What I believe happens a lot of the time, especially as empaths, is that we meet someone with a few traits that we like and then we decide that we can fix or just deal with the parts of that person that are actually major red flags.  If the guy is smart and funny but is only interested in your body then that is a sign.

Via ministry-to-children.com

Via ministry-to-children.com

Also, if the person you are thinking about being with only wants to be around you because they feel that they can fix you then that is also a big sign.

When we care about someone we often get sucked up in the emotions we are feeling and end up blind to what is really going on.  So if you want to make sure that you don’t get caught up in a stagnant or draining relationship then check these 6 things every so often in your relationship to make sure that you are not missing any important red flags.

1. Your Friends or Family don’t like the person you are dating. 

It can be really hard to hear that your friends or family don’t like the person you are with.  Though your family might not always approve it is good to create a level of trust and transparency with them that makes it easy for them to voice any concerns that they might see.

Don’t get upset if they do come to you with concerns.  Listen, ask questions and try to understand where they are coming from and what they are seeing.  No one wants to get years into a bad relationship only to find out that your family and friends saw what was wrong the whole time.

2. You see inconsistency, excuses, and get confusing timelines from your partner.

We all want to trust people and we also want to be trusted.  There is a lot that goes into a relationship and if there isn’t trust and transparency then you really don’t have a strong foundation.

One of the ways to tell if your partner is telling the truth is to see if they are giving you a large number of excuses or are inconsistent.  If they say one thing and then do another then that is a sign that you need to look into.

Another important way to tell if your partner is prone to lying is see how they interact with others.  Regardless of the reason if you see inconsistencies in how they interact with other people then that is a sign.

Do they lie, exaggerate, or manipulate others?  If the answer is yes, that may mean that they are doing all of those things to you too.  It just may be more subtle.

3. Your relationship is progressing too fast.

Via oogledrive.com

Via oogledrive.com

Slow and steady wins the race.  This principle is true for relationships as well as for life.  If your partner is trying to jump into high levels of commitment before you are ready then you may need to ask yourself why.

Are they afraid of losing you if they don’t tie you down fast?  Are they afraid that if you get to know them better then you will leave?  These are all legitimate questions.

Now it is possible that they feel rushed due to excitement because they met you and frankly you are an awesome person.  Just remember though, that there is something awesome and super romantic about a relationship that is grounded, slow and each partner takes the time to get to know each other.

4. Your Partner doesn’t have many friends.

If your partner has a hard time making or keeping friends then they may not be good at true closeness.  Long term relationships will gently become more close and synchronistic.  The lone wolf mentality doesn’t work for this.

The opposite may also be true, does your partner have a lot of friends but isn’t close with any of them?  If your partner is a social butterfly but doesn’t have any close emotional connections with them then that may be a big sign that will hurt down the road.

5. Your Partner uses a lot of alcohol or other heavy substances.

Via drunkathlete.com

Via drunkathlete.com

Occasional and moderate uses of some substances isn’t necessarily harmful.  What I am talking about is if your partner has a hard time being sober.  A healthy balanced person can handle their life completely sober and doesn’t use substances to escape or run away from their feelings.

Even if they seem happy it may be wise to evaluate how they are completely sober for a while to make sure that they aren’t subconsciously hiding a bunch of issues that may surface later in your relationship.

6. You often feel drained after being around your partner.

energySometimes we don’t notice anything off when we are with someone but then afterwards we are drained.  I’m not talking about after a night at the gym or a dance party drained.  I am talking about an emotional draining that leaves us feeling worn out and mentally fried.  This may be a big sign that there is an unbalance in the energy of your relationship.

Separately none of these red flags are necessarily deal breakers but if you start to see more than one it may be time for a heart-to-heart to evaluate what is really going on and if you need to make some adjustments in your life.

Teamwork is often needed to heal core issues, but we need to make sure that we are not being drained or abused on the way.

What red flags do you look for in your relationships?  Let us know your tricks and experiences in the comments below.

Sources- www.psychologytoday.com

Image Credit:ytimg.com

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Health

Biden to Ban Menthol Cigarettes, Citing Health Impact on Youth and Black People

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The Biden administration is reportedly planning to propose an immediate ban on menthol cigarettes, a product that has long been targeted by anti-smoking advocates and critics who claim that the tobacco industry has aggressively marketed to Black people in the U.S.

On Wednesday, the Washington Post reported that the administration could announce a ban on menthol and other flavored cigarettes as soon as this week.

Roughly 85 percent of Black smokers use such menthol brands as Newport and Kool, according to the Food and Drug Administration. Research has also found that menthol cigarettes are easier to become addicted to and harder to quit than unflavored tobacco products, along with other small cigars popular with young people and African Americans.

Civil rights advocates claim that the decision should be greeted by Black communities and people of color who have been marketed to by what they describe as the predatory tobacco industry.

Black smokers generally smoke far less than white smokers, but suffer a disproportionate amount of deaths due to tobacco-linked diseases like heart attack, stroke, and other causes.

Anti-smoking advocates like Matthew L. Myers, president of Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids, also greeted the move to cut out products that appeal to children and young adults.

“Menthol cigarettes are the No. 1 cause of youth smoking in the United States,” he said. “Eliminating menthol cigarettes and flavored cigars used by so many kids will do more in the long run to reduce tobacco-related disease than any action the federal government has ever taken.”

However, groups including the American Civil Liberties Group (ACLU) has opposed the move, citing the likelihood that such an action could lead to criminal penalties arising from the enforcement of a ban hitting communities of color hardest.

In a letter to administration officials, the ACLU and other groups including the Drug Policy Alliance said that while the ban is “no doubt well-intentioned” it would also have “serious racial justice implications.”

“Such a ban will trigger criminal penalties, which will disproportionately impact people of color, as well as prioritize criminalization over public health and harm reduction,” the letter explained. “A ban will also lead to unconstitutional policing and other negative interactions with local law enforcement.”

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Pollution Is Making Human Penises Shrink and Causing a Collapse of Fertility, Scientists Say

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With many still scoffing at the idea of rampant pollution posing a threat to humanity, a new study could drastically change the conversation: the chemicals across our environment could be the cause of shrinking human penises.

According to a new book by Dr. Shanna H. Swan, conditions in the modern world are quickly altering the reproductive development of humans and posing a threat to our future as a species.

The argument is laid out in her new book Count Down: How Our Modern World Is Threatening Sperm Counts, Altering Male and Female Reproductive Development, and Imperiling the Future of the Human Race.

The book discusses how pollution is not only leading to skyrocketing erectile dysfunction rates and fertility decline, but also an expansion in the number of babies born with small penises.

While it may seem like good fodder for jokes, the research could portend a grim future for humanity’s ability to survive.

Swan co-authored a study in 2017 that found sperm counts had precipitously fallen in Western countries by 59 percent between 1973 and 2011. In her latest book, Swan blames chemicals for this crisis in the making.

“Chemicals in our environment and unhealthy lifestyle practices in our modern world are disrupting our hormonal balance, causing various degrees of reproductive havoc,” she wrote in the new book.

“In some parts of the world, the average twentysomething woman today is less fertile than her grandmother was at 35,” she also wrote, noting that men could have only half the sperm count of their grandfathers.

Swan blames the disruption on phthalates, the chemicals used in plastic manufacturing that also have an impact on how the crucial hormone endocrine is produced

However, experts note that the proper implementation of pollution reduction measures could help humanity prevent the collapse of human fertility.

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Health

Visualizing The World’s Deadliest Pandemics By Population Impact

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Humanity has been battling against disease for centuries.

And while most contagious outbreaks have never reached full-blown pandemic status, Visual Capitalist’s Carmen Ang notes that there have been several times throughout history when a disease has caused mass devastation.

Here’s a look at the world’s deadliest pandemics to date, viewed from the lens of the impact they had on the global population at the time.

Editor’s note: The above graphic was created in response to a popular request from users after viewing our popular history of pandemics infographic initially released a year ago.

Death Toll, by Percent of Population

In the mid-1300s, a plague known as the Black Death claimed the lives of roughly 200 million people – more than 50% of the global population at that time.

Here’s how the death toll by population stacks up for other significant pandemics, including COVID-19 so far.

The specific cause of the Black Death is still up for debate. Many experts claim the 14th-century pandemic was caused by a bubonic plague, meaning there was no human-to-human transmission, while others argue it was possibly pneumonic.

Interestingly, the plague still exists today – however, it’s significantly less deadly, thanks to modern antibiotics.

History Repeats, But at Least We Keep Learning

While we clearly haven’t eradicated infection diseases from our lives entirely, we’ve at least come a long way in our understanding of what causes illness in the first place.

In ancient times, people believed gods and spirits caused diseases and widespread destruction. But by the 19th century, a scientist named Louis Pasteur (based on findings by Robert Koch) discovered germ theory – the idea that small organisms caused disease.

What will we discover next, and how will it impact our response to disease in the future?

Like this? Check out the full-length article The History of Pandemics

Republished from ZH with permission.

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