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How to Find Strength in the Darkest Moments



When everything seems lost and you go through that darkest patch or through a very difficult life passage, where do you look for hope and strength? Who do you turn to? Perhaps friends and family who are always open and ready to give you loving support or perhaps some fortunate new connections and experiences that light up the way out. When we are supported, cared for, encouraged and guided by others, what happens is that we get enough space to shift our attention from our fears, pain and anxiety to our inner guide and strength.

So in reality although people and situations can help us a lot with starting the process of healing and finding our way home, it is ultimately by looking inwards into ourselves that we find hope, strength and courage. When you feel powerless, briefing loss, feeling insecure and lost, there are four actions you should first look for – I call them the four pillars of inner power:  Honouring, Remembering, Trusting and Loving.

These actions will find your way when you feel lost, reconnect you when you feel disconnected, uplift you when you feel broken and fill you in when you feel emptied. I will go through them briefly and touch upon what I believe are the most important ones. Of course they are simple in themselves and they can be expanded to cover something which is more specific to your life or situation but the ones below do suffice on their own. You can write them down, chant them, sing them in your morning shower (seriously) or whatever it is that you feel expresses yourself naturally and with ease.


Honour the Heart: Unlike your mind, It is always true to your path and Life purpose. In it you will find strength you never thought you could possess.

Honour the Spirit: It is there although you can’t see it or perceive it. Ultimately that is all you are beyond this short-lived embodiment. So honour it and you are honouring a much larger truth about You.

Honour the Infinite Self: You are an infinite being connected to everything that is and will ever be. You know this at some level if you learn to honour your heart and spirit more. You will see it and live it. It gives you enormous power.

Honour your Presence:  When you are present in the moment you bring your self to come fully into being rather than being dispersed in futile and petty worries, thoughts and fantasies. When you are present you are fully You – shining, beautiful and powerful. Honour it. It gives you enormous strength.

Honour your Divinity: Whether you acknowledge it or not – you are Divine. That is part of your nature. When you recognise and honour the divine in you and in others, you are allowing it to flow through you.

Honour your Fallibility & Humanity: You are as fallible and human as much as you are divine – this is the truth of your incarnation. Celebrate it and accept it. Do not be ashamed or feel guilt of your mistakes or you would be going against what is perfectly fine and natural.

Honour the Guru inside of You: Yes your inner Self is infinitely wise because it is connected to source at some level. It is a living Guru inside of you that you do not often talk to, ask for guidance or honour. Honour the Guru because it is unconditionally waiting to guide you in every step you take.


Remember you are Free: No matter what beliefs society has transmitted to you along the years, the truth is that you are free. You were made to be free and follow your purpose, passion and instincts. You were not born to be chained to a set of ideas, a desk, a clock, fear, judgment or an institution. What we call ‘free spirits’ know this in their heart. They know with inner conviction that we are enslaved if and only if we allow it to be. It is our choice.

Remember you are more than you think you are: When you are caught in grief or confusion, your ego-centered ‘little self’ is the one directing the drama. It closes off the space for your more conscious ‘big Self’ to allow presence and a broader view on things. It makes you forget that you are more than you think you are. Remember that you are much more than a victim caught up in the drama. You are free, powerful and infinite. Call on this thought and how it changes things.

Remember you are Powerful…very Powerful:  We are led as sheep by authorities, belittled and disheartened by certain life situations and experiences. We are made to believe we are powerless and we live with this belief all our life. The truth is that you have the power to change, to love, to heal, to discover, to go beyond your limits and to alter your future.

Remember you are infinite – this is just a moment: When we are blocked and debilitated it’s because we give our energies and power to the problem. We fear that the problem is here to stay or that the pain will linger. This is the short-sightedness of the ego. It doesn’t allow us to see how short-lived and temporary the problem is compared to our infinity.

Remember you are not alone but part of a much larger community:  You can’t do it alone and by all means you shouldn’t. Remember that you are part of a much larger community both here physically and also spiritually, beyond what your eyes can perceive.

Remember you have chosen this path long time before you were born: Yes the life challenges you face are not haphazard or meaningless. The path was partly chosen by you and partly a result of Karmic seeds you have sown in the past.


Trust your Heart:  Trust the wisdom and intuition that comes from that inner space we call the heart. It will not only guide but give you refuge, strength and resilience.  When you are overwhelmed by a hundred thoughts and fears, look hard for that gentle feeling of presence and intuition that comes from your heart.

Trust your Higher Consciousness: When we let our deepest fears and anxieties overtake our lives in desperate moments, we become momentarily unconscious in the sense that we are not awake or fully aware of ourselves. We are just reacting on auto drive to instinctual fear. It is precisely in those moments that we need to look for ways to become more conscious – and one of the best and fastest ways is by trusting it and allowing it to happen.

Trust Life and the Multiverse: Instead of getting paranoid and angry that life and the universe is conspiring against you, switch perspective and trust it for being congenial and supportive. I am not a law of attraction advocate in any way, but what I can say that in my own personal experience, making this switch ALWAYS changed everything around.

Trusting that Everything will be Fine: And of course this goes hand in hand with the point above. When in doubt, lost and confused by the storm of life, stay still and remind yourself that it is going to be fine and that your fears are not supporting you. When those doubts and fears start dissolving keep moving on with courage.


Love Yourself: Be kind and gentle to yourself. Do you realise that sometimes we are the harshest with ourselves not others or situations? We criticise ourselves, self-talk negatively and beat ourselves up. This is unnecessary in normal situations and downright unhelpful in very difficult situations. In those dark moments, what you need to start from is Self-love and being kind to yourself. This is not the same as self-pity. Loving yourself is being open, soft and nonjudgmental.

Love Openly & Unconditionally: Be open to give and receive love. Some say love is the greatest healer and in many ways that’s true. Both giving and receiving love is like an instant vibe changer. It makes you lighter, happier and fuller. Even your biochemistry changed accordingly.

Love the wisdom of your higher Self for it is One and the same with God: This is in line with the point about honouring your inner Guru. As mentioned, you are connected to source at some point and your higher Self is an infinite resource of wisdom and creativity which is waiting to be tapped into. It’s purpose is only one – the best of you.

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